Real Listening

Have you ever had someone really listen to you? What did it feel like? Have you ever listened to another without any thought as to how you would respond? When we experience real listening, a Presence is opened to us that allows our whole being, and another’s, to be heard instead of just “parts.” This kind of listening can even open the “parts'' we might hide for various reasons. Often these hidden parts are what need to be heard the most as they are often the driving force of our lives, whether we know it or not.

What about when someone does not listen to you? What about those who think they know what you are saying but misunderstand you? How does that feel? How does it feel if you are not listening to another but just waiting for them to finish so you can start making your point? If we can see what real non-listening creates in us and others, we understand it doesn’t feel very good, lacks connection, and doesn’t lead to a deeper awareness of something better.

We are all designed to be heard and listened to by Real Listening.

When our whole being is heard or we listen to that being in another, we are safe, secure, held, and loved. In this Presence we remember what our world could be like were it held in perfect love and we might even find that it is. Real listening is unconditional and it allows what is Real to surface and become known.

There is a passage you may not be familiar with that hints at God being that Presence that is there where people are gathered with the intention of Real Listening. It reads:

“Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” -Matthew 18:20

The key is to realize that where two or three are gathered, there is another Presence always there listening. This is the Ultimate Listener, God, who is present to our lives even if we are not aware. What does it mean to be “gathered together” in God’s name? 

To be gathered is to not be scattered. When the scattered parts of ourselves are listened to deeply we are moving towards wholeness as they are heard. That gathering together of all of our selves eventually realizes it is being listened to through another by Another. This is probably where the idea of Oneness comes from.

This deep listening is one of the definitions of spiritual direction, which can be an awkward definition as someone who is a “spiritual director” isn’t really directing anything. They are being directed through and listening to the Ultimate Listener who is already in your life, whether you know it or not. When we are listened to at this level, Truth emerges in surprising ways, both about us, and through that 3 letter verb God, which is better than we can imagine.

Speaking of the name of God, there was a time when God was speaking to someone and giving them instructions on what to say to others. When this person asked God who he should say sent him, God said: “Tell them I Am sent you.” (Exodus 3:14) Super helpful right? But if we listen to what this means we would hear the name meaning, “I will be what I will be.”

What do you hear when God will be what God will be?

We are all full of stories, connections, contradictions, and definitions that do not actually describe what we know when we try to say it. It seems here God is making sure we listen at a deeper level than knowing anything, especially God, as a word or a definition. There is a relational fluid movement here that requires intentional and constant listening. This also allows something new to emerge.

When we gather in God’s name, in God’s being, in God being whatever God will be, we are gathering together all the possibilities, questions, and definitions of our lives. We are listening for something far deeper than words. We are listening for a Word that gathers together all words until we know what is behind or beyond them.

While it is rare for real listening to go on in our world, Real listening allows us to hear and be heard on levels technology will never be able to measure. How do I know that? Because the greatest technology ever given to us was our heart. Listening “from the heart” is listening from the central space of Sacred Presence, that Presence that will be what it is. And what word is contained within the word heart? Ear. When we listen within we hear things at deeper levels than just sounds penetrating our eardrums.

When we gather together to be listened to deeply one will eventually realize the One who is there with them, who has been holding them the entire time. This heldness comes from listendness. When we are listened to, we are able to listen deeper to the One who has been listening, hearing, and speaking to us all along.

When we listen and are listened to deeply, we finally know we belong.

In this belonging we may see in part, but we sense in whole.

Listen deeply my friends,

-Preston Hall